Wacky Emails.com

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Bookmark this page
Facebook Twitter BlinkList Delicious Google Bookmarks Stumbleupon Yahoo My Web Livejournal Digg Blogmarks
 
 
dance baby  A Fun Place to waste time
 

                   And watch a funny video

 
              
                  

I just want to thank all of you...for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am  totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.               .

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel orcouri v have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room
 because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels. 
 

I have trouble shaking hands
 with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip
 because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years. 

ccI can't touch any woman's purse
 for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. 
 


I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS 
to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. 
 

ALSO,
 now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. 

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all,
 but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Marc AllanI no longer worry about my soul
 because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish. 

I no longer eat KFC
 because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.


I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU 
I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN,
 I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. 

I no longer can buy gasoline
 without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. 
 
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans. 

I no longer use Saran Wrap
 in the microwave because it causes cancer. 
 

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW 
I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.

dedI no longer check the coin return on pay phones
 because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls
 because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex
 since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target
 since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone
 because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan . 

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus
 since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU 
I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt. 

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE 
I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!


can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . . ..

Oh, by the way.....
 

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.


Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

  


ATT00121.gif

Funny Junk Notifications
fill this out to recieve notifications when new jokes and videos are posted.

 

            Save tor favorites

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 
  
  
 
    
 
 


 

A Fun Place To Waste Time
Site Map
Funny Store & Corvette Stuff
Real Ghost Picture
2010 Darwin Awards
Screen Savers
Funniest email ever pie chart
Epic Fail Video's
◦  Cops beat man after crash
◦  Motorcycle Fails
Games to qoof off too
Funny Videos
◦  Ferd F-teenthousand Truck
◦  Girl Directions
◦  Don't pull it out like that!
◦  Funniest Dog Ever
◦  Tow truck screw up video
◦  Best clothing drive ever
◦  Speed patroled by Aircraft
◦  Cooking with Winning and Charlie sheen
◦  Funny Bud Commercials
◦  Luckiest people in the world
◦  Girl loses panties
◦  Robbery
◦  Chili can light a fire
◦  I like big tits
◦  Clean those dirty balls
◦  How to fail a breathalizer
◦  Modern Communications
◦  Lucky day at the track
◦  Cop and wife get high on pot
◦  Show them boobies to me song
◦  Hail Storm in Phoenix
◦  Chameleon changing colors
◦  Monkey tells Penguin joke
◦  Husband's revenge
◦  Tiquila is good for you
◦  Tom and Val's big gay Muvie
◦  Morning run
◦  "The Man Song"
◦  Awesome beer commercial
◦  The Trunk Monkey
◦  Deer beats up a puppy
◦  Ladder Accident
◦  Chick shoots 500
◦  Where the Hell is Matt?
◦  What the pilot shoud say
◦  Nice Bike Ride...uuuh
◦  My Car's Better
◦  How to Change a Belt
◦  Bad Joke of the Week
◦  John Madden Popcorn
◦  Bad Ass Guitar player
◦  Sorry Officer
◦  Tiger & Frank
◦  Pissed Off Car Salesman
◦  My new Toyota mower
◦  Everybody loves a wiener
◦  Cat and Printer
◦  Babys start early
◦  Baby abandoned at Wallmart
◦  Fords new bird crap sensor
◦  The front fell off
◦  Deer gets hit, not funny
◦  Don't look good naked anymore
◦  Bad Ass Shotgun
◦  Anti Fart Strip
◦  I Forgot
I just wanted to tell you..
Who said Sidecars can't be cool
A Happy Man
I love this doctor
Worlds Most Dangerous Creature
Best bar joke ever
Puns for the educated mind
Funny Links
High speed slow motion
Excellent One Liners
A Scotsman
Corvette Joke
Tons of Humor
◦  Mike's Place - Jokes
◦  Joke of the Day
◦  Mind of Mencia Videos
◦  South Park Videos
◦  Where the Hell Was I?
◦  Humor Articles
◦  Yahoo News Humor
◦  Prius Gets Smoked
A Short Love Story
Tiger Woods Humor
◦  Thanksgiving Night
◦  Tiger Woods Joke 2
◦  Johnny & the Teacher
◦  A Man and a Waiter
Two Middle East Mothers
Hard things to say drunk
Never question a drunk
Big Tom's Jokes
Strutt's Jokes
Housers Jokes
UPS Airlines
'Shifters Jokes
Teacher Jokes
Yuma Rich's Jokes
Cows, Golf, and a Wife
Mickelsons backwards shot video
We are in trouble...
Parking Ticket
Political Humor
Bad Jokes
The Basement
◦  Naked musicians playing violin
◦  Off color links to videos
◦  How bout a burger and a hand job
◦  Blue balls skit
◦  Guy sneezes in shower, gross
◦  Chads a Homo
◦  Learn How to Drive your Prius
◦  Speed Limit
◦  Sproingo
◦  Lil Red Riding Hood
◦  Chicken Dance
◦  "The Brothel"
◦  Short & Sexy
◦  3 boobs
◦  Skin Joke
◦  Hairy things that kill
Contact us

 

counter widget